Thankful For My Year Of Growth

I AM THANKFUL FOR MY YEAR OF CHANGE AND GROWTH!

     It was around this time last year when I was emotionally broken and beat down. I was suffering from extreme depression and thought I had no way out. Day after day, I struggled silently because I did not want others to see me broken, I was afraid to be judged, and had no motivation for change.

     I went on a vacation with my carefree sister in law; she is one of those women who is upbeat, and bubbly even when she is facing a hard situation. We traveled to Eastern Oregon, to her old stomping grounds. The air was crisp and cool this time of year the leaves were beautiful hues of red, yellow and orange, a far cry from the “greenness” of Southern California. Just seeing the vibrant colors took my mind to a happy place, back in my childhood, I could instantly remember the beautiful fall season growing up in the state of Virginia.

     My Sister-n-law, took me to an art studio, located on the outskirts of town, and I met a man, who created beautiful paintings of Dogs. While touring the studio, co-owned by his sculpture wife, he told me a story about how he recently quit his “real” job, due to intense pressure and stress his boss had placed on him. As he spoke I saw the joy, calmness and a peace about him.  He spoke so highly of his life now that he was free and no longer subjected to the unwanted pressure and stress of others.

    His words,  began the mental change I had struggled to find. I realized it was ok, to just be ok. I did not have to suffer and place myself back into a stressful, negative, backstabbing world if I did not want to. It was ok, to not fall into societies trap of having to have a six -figure salary, and exist without the closeness of your family, due to the long hours at work, and demand for climbing the corporate ladder. I would find a way to finically survive, and I could climb the ladder in my own home, where my work (will one day, maybe when kids are 25 :)) will be appreciated by those I love. I could invest 45-50 hours a week, encouraging, helping, and motivating my own family, teaching them the skills needed to be a productive member of society, creating joy, giving, and love.

    When I returned home form this trip, I made the decision to change my life. I no longer had to subject myself to a negative, stressful environment. I knew God, would provide and help me survive. I began to take the steps necessary to heal myself. I enrolled in a nutrition course to further my knowledge, to help me heal myself. I realized I was the only one who could heal me, and I need to talk the steps to start healing.  I became certified in personal training, I surrounded myself with positive people who wanted to lift me up and make me a better person, and I removed myself from my place of employment.

     I am thankful I learned techniques and recipes to heal my body and mind from the inside out. Applying what I learned to my daily life, changed my thinking and my moods. Exercising for pleasure not for “body image” lifted a weight I had carried for years.

 
    I am so blessed and thankful for my husband Brian. We were given more than some could have handled, and it has completely changed our relationship. We are now able to have God as the center of our marriage, and it has changed our connection with each other. We have learned how to really talk to one another, in a kind and loving manner. The real “us” has been revealed.

     I am thankful to have some amazing friends and family surrounding me. Without them there is no way I could have made a change in my life so quickly.  Surrounding yourself with people who build you up, are honest, and loving ,makes such a difference in life.

     Far too long I was emotionally sheltered letting few people in because I was afraid of being judged. Opening myself up, being raw and exposed has changed everything. People will still judge, however, I no longer allow it to effect my mood and stability. I am who I am!!!

     I am so thankful for Facebook, I have had the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people, and surround myself with women and men who value positivity like I do, I have learned to live a more peaceful life with the value in family and friends.

      Just a day of Thanks from this Girl to you! I hope whereever you are in life you are able to create the change necessary to live YOUR best life.